How to become and stay a positive thinker.

I’ve gone through hard experiences. I’ve fought uphill battles. I’ve had a lot of heartbreak. But yet today, I would consider myself a positive thinker.

People ask me all the time how I do it…

It’s quite simple, actually. It comes down to one thing; making a choice.

I choose to try and see the positive in everything. I try to find a reason to be hopeful in an otherwise difficult situation. I know and understand that being stuck in a negative mindset will get me nowhere. I give myself a choice in that moment, and more times than not, I choose to think positively.

Because I’m human, of course there are days and weeks and sometimes months that are harder than others. But eventually I pull myself up by my bootstraps and I am able to climb out of the negativity black hole and ‘see the light at the end of the tunnel’, if you will.

And on the other hand…there’s people that stay in that darkness. And what seems to be happily (not sure how – but nonetheless), wallowing in all of it. They are stuck in their own crappy situations and would quite honestly, love to see you attend their pity party and be just as miserable as they are.

We all know someone like that, right?

Yeah… I used to be like that girl.

I was lost. I was hurting. Although I didn’t necessarily want to ‘bring anyone down with me’…I was wrapped up in my own world that I didn’t see what other people saw. I couldn’t get off that Negative Nancy rollercoaster ride because I didn’t even know I was on it.

My Timehop App reminds me of that quite often. I’ll see facebook posts I wrote 7 & 8 years ago where I complained and whined about the situation I was in. Constantly. And to be honest, I’m pretty embarrassed I didn’t see it.

I didn’t see how I wasted so much time hiding or running from or whining about my circumstances…instead of just fixing them. Or really the root of it all, fixing what was happening between my two ears. Changing my perspective, the way I looked at things.

It wasn’t until after a few years of being a mom that I was interested in learning more about personal development. When I was first introduced to it, I was just starting an MLM endeavor. And I learned that personal development was one of the things that would really propel me forward in accomplishing my goals.

Because I had curiosity. Because I was asked the question. And because I said yes to learning… It has lead me now to 5+ years of developing myself, refining my skills, molding my habits, and just becoming an even better version of myself, year after year.

And to think I’ve just barely scratched the surface… that is really what keeps me excited.

You know that common picture you see of an iceberg… where just the tip is sitting above the water and the massive chunk of ice is below the surface? There’s more to the story than what the image portrays. That’s what learning personal development looks like…

You just keep chipping away layer by layer. Learning new things about yourself every day. Acknowledging what you need to work on. What you need to improve. Or gain. Eventually you’ll start to see more of that iceberg as you continue to work your way down.

The #1 place to start with personal development is changing your mindset. It’s all about how you look at things, your perspective, that will determine where you end up in life.

Wayne Dyer says it oh, so perfectly…

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”

If that isn’t sweet music to your ears, sister, then girl you gotta listen up!

Our circumstances are only as bad as we perceive them.

And believe me when I say this. I know it can feel crappy in that situation. And it can feel like the whole world is falling apart around you. It may feel like you can’t see what is past the next day, or even minute. I get it.

My family has seen so much heartache and tragedy over this past year, it’s been hard to sometimes fully believe that statement. But deep down, because I have the foundation of personal development in my back pocket, I know it to be true.

We all go through really hard stuff at some point. But we have to keep going. We have to know there’s something bigger than us. We need to grasp onto the idea that our circumstances don’t define us. And that we will eventually be okay.

I’m not saying you can’t feel sad in that moment. Allow the time for yourself to be hurt. Or angry. Or sad. You need that to heal.

But you can’t stay in that place forever – you have to keep moving forward. Somehow. Some way.

With personal development in your toolbox, you’ll be able to get out of that pain so much faster, because you will have hope.

Personal development, will without a doubt, shift your entire life. This will not be the only time you’ll hear me say this.

No matter what you’re going through, there’s someone that has experienced something similar and has either shared their story, written a book or recorded a podcast that will help you through it. But you won’t know about it unless you open your eyes and look.

So be open to learning. Be open to the opportunities to grow. To think differently.

Because you will start attracting new people into your life, and new doors will open when you begin to see life with a different lens.

So start today. Buddy up with someone and commit to starting your personal development journey. Grab a book, listen to a podcast, just do something. 

If you’re into reading (which I’m assuming you are – since you’re here on my blog)…
The first book I would HIGHLY recommend reading is The Energy Bus: 10 Rules to Fuel Your Life, Work, and Team with Positive Energy

A couple quotes I absolutely loved from the book are:

“Thoughts are magnetic. What we think about we attract.”

This is totally about the law of attraction. What you think about, you bring about. Henry Ford also says it… ““Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right.” Thoughts turn into actions. Regardless if they’re positive or negative. So be careful what you’re allowing to play over and over again between your ears.

“But I do know that if you want to change your situation you must first change your thoughts. Because if you keep on thinking what you have been thinking you’ll keep on getting what you have been getting.”

This is so much like the quote about insanity. “Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Einstein hit the nail on the head with that one. You have to change in order to see change.

“This is your crisis but it’s also your opportunity. Every crisis offers an opportunity to grow stronger and wiser. ”

We all run into these times in our lives that we would rather curl up in a ball and hide away from the pain and discomfort life can bring us. But we have a choice. We can instead take that as an opportunity to grow ourselves in ways we could’ve never imagined.

We can take that experience and help others get through it too. We are not given our circumstances so we can just ‘get through them’… they are part of our story. And our job is to share our story with the world.

So where do you start?

One step at a time. You just have to start somewhere. And just like what we talked about last week with overcoming fear. It takes practice. And a lot of patience, self reflecting and sometimes even a little outside encouragement.

I’ll share endless book recommendations as we continue on this journey together. But for now, start small. Do one thing today that your yesterday self didn’t do.

And remember…personal development isn’t just about you or for you. When you start changing your mindset, it affects everyone around you. Your family, coworkers, strangers.

You begin to see the world in a totally different way. Seeing opportunity where you use to see lost hope. Understanding possibility instead of falling back into doubt. Accepting challenges with a hopeful heart instead of sitting back and suffering through the pain.

So do yourself a favor. Start shifting your mindset into more positive thinking.

It. Changes. Everything. & in the most beautiful way possible…

Love and positive vibes,